We all can use advice in our marriage no matter how long we’ve been together. Pursue growth in your marriage as you set couple relationship goals in this Marriage Growth Workbook.
MAKING YOUR MARRIAGE LAST
After 14 years I can say that the best thing we ever did for our marriage was to intentionally invest in making it better. Based on the counsel of mentors at our church, we committed to one event each year to focus on our marriage.
My own rollercoaster of emotions left me focused only on my needs. We spent the time on parenting classes, but we needed a refresher on how to do marriage well.
Whether you are a newly wed or about to celebrate a few decades of marriage, we can all use some advice on how to set goals as a couple to strengthen your relationship.
So many women are stuck in the trap of “I guess this is my life now” after they have kids. Your relationship isn’t doing any good being stuck on the back burner. When we invested in each other, parenting became easier, and my emotions became more stable—simply put—life is easier when we are on the same page.
Here are a few lessons I’ve learned from marriage books and classes over the years:
- Take the time to learn one another’s “Love Language”. A huge block to communication is not understanding the way your spouse needs to be shown love. You may be telling them you love them everyday, but they may not be feeling it if their primary “love language” is spending time alone together.
- Set a foundation of friendship for you to strengthen your relationship. Remember why you fell in love in the first place. Commit to the friendship part of your relationship. This will serve you well especially when times are tough. Set regular date nights, plan vacations, find little ways to connect on a daily basis.
- Learn healthy ways to work through conflict. Be a team working against the problem, not against one another.
- Grow spiritually as individuals and a couple. Invest in your marriage for the long run by digging deep into your spiritual life.
- Serve one another without complaining. Make it a practice of expressing your love by helping without expecting something in return.
SETTING COUPLE RELATIONSHIP GOALS
I saw the need for growth in our marriage years ago and I’m so thankful for the time invested and the mentors we’ve met. You may not know where to start when it comes to your marriage, so I’ve created a Marriage Growth Workbook that includes all of these lessons I’ve learned along the way!
It’s in a 41 page instant download and includes 4 weeks of Bible-based challenges to help you grow and strengthen your marriage. You can use it in a 3 ring binder, folder or staple as a packet.
The workbook includes:
- Discovering Your Love Language
- 4 Weeks of Daily Challenges
- Friendship (have fun together)
- Teamwork (work through conflict)
- Growth (invest in your marriage for the long run)
- Service (expressing your love by helping without expectations)
- 4 Bible verse coloring pages
- 2 Goal setting reflection pages for continued growth
WEEK 1: FRIENDSHIP
Friendship is probably the thing that drew you to your spouse in the first place. You saw that they were kind/funny/just like you/different from you and you wanted to hang out with them.
As we grow older in our relationships, we can get into the habit of becoming more of a roommate than a best friend.
Fight this drifting away by investing in your friendship. Find out what you have in common and run with it! Do you like to travel, be outdoors, try new restaurants, attend concerts or go to opening nights of your favorite movies?
When you take the time to reconnect with your spouse by being more playful, you break down barriers of miscommunication.
“Whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable — if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things.” Philippians 4:8
WEEK 2: TEAMWORK
Life is so much harder when you feel out of sync with your spouse. Most of the time problems can be resolved through better communication.
When working through conflicts, pray together and ask forgiveness from each other and the Lord. Each person just wants to feel respected, honored and loved.
Ephesians 4 teaches us to be humble, gentle (meek), patient, compassionate, kind and forgiving. Don’t get stuck in the crazy cycle of reacting out of bitterness and anger, be the first to step out in love.
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32
WEEK 3: GROWTH
I have a group of older women mentors at my church who are honest, outspoken encouragers to new moms. These are women I personally admire and respect. I have turned to them in times of anguish and discouragement in all walks of my personal life. They share their hearts, parenting fails, marriage obstacles, and encourage me that no marriage is perfect–but that there are good, happy marriages out there is you’re willing to put in the work.
If you have someone in mind you admire, call them up and ask them to coffee. Don’t wait for others to step in, put yourself out there and make an introduction! I’ve found most older women are honored that younger women would come to them for advice and wisdom.
“Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.” Hebrews 10:24
WEEK 4: SERVICE
Humility in a marriage is vital to sustainability. If you are constantly thinking about your own needs and wants without any consideration for your spouse, expect some bitterness and resentment.
Get in the habit of serving your spouse—without expecting anything in return! This can be as simple as preparing dinner so that your spouse can take a quick nap after work. It can be bringing them coffee while they’re getting ready in the morning or filling up the car with gas after you use it.
Do little things to put their needs before your own to show that you still love them.
“In humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of others.” Philippians 2:3-4
ORDER THE MARRIAGE GROWTH WORKBOOK
Don’t settle for a mediocre marriage—bring life back into your marriage today. Start taking the steps to make your marriage what you always wanted it to be by growing closer in your relationship through this Marriage Growth Workbook.
Print one to do on your own, or print two to do together as a couple as you both work on your relationship goals.
For more posts on setting goals as a couple, read:
- 14 Lessons From 14 Years of Marriage
- Date Night Ideas
- Advice From Older Couples
- Quotes on Marriage
- Creating Family Goals for the New Year
You’ve got this!
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This was such a fun post! As someone who’s been for a bit (4 years), you’re always thinking of creative things to do together so this was super informative!
Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it!