Understanding the 5 Five Love Languages Types

Find out your types from the 5 Love Languages test to identify how your family members best feel loved and use these strategies to strengthen your relationships.

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WHAT IS A “LOVE LANGUAGE”?

A love language is simply the way you like to be shown that you are loved and appreciated by others. Everyone has their own preferences– your child may be a big hugger, or prefers to show his feelings by drawing you a picture.

Your spouse may like when they come home to a clean kitchen or when you surprise them with a meaningful gift.

What about you?

Do you prefer getting flowers out of the blue, or talking over coffee? You may find that you appreciate a thoughtful text during the day more than a cleaned up living room.

Whatever it is that makes you feel loved, it’s important that you identify it and share it with those around you. But before you do that, it’s wise to figure out others’ love languages as well.

For example, I enjoy when my husband writes me a sweet note, but he loves when we do something outdoors together.

Before I realized we had different love languages, I would concentrate on areas that didn’t matter that much to him. For example, I might go out shopping and bring him a coffee from the store, but what he needed that day was for me to help with the bills or laundry. While I might prefer the treat, he might prefer the help.

It was a game changer when my husband and I sat down and took this test.

Ask your spouse, What is one thing I can do this week to make you feel loved?

You may be surprised by their answer! (And it’s not just helpful for them, so make sure you answer this too!)

THE 5 TYPES OF LOVE LANGUAGES

Gary Chapman defines the 5 Love Languages in his book that relate to how we best feel loved. They are Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch.

You can have more than one love language, and you can figure out how they rank by taking the quiz in the back of his book. For example:

1. WORDS OF AFFIRMATION

Compliments
Saying “I Love You”
Love notes
Praise in front of others
Encouraging email or text

2. QUALITY TIME

Going on dates
Vacations
Trying a new place
Doing an activity you love together
Couch time to talk about the day

3. RECEIVING GIFTS

Souvenir from a loved one
Something handmade by your kids
A surprise coffee or treat
Thoughtful birthday gift
Anniversary surprise

4. ACTS OF SERVICE

Having your kids walk the dog
Your spouse returning your car with a full tank of gas
Coming home to a clean house
Having someone else cook dinner
Your kids helping with the chores

5. PHYSICAL TOUCH

Cuddling during a movie
Holding hands while in public
Kiss before leaving work
Sex!
Back rub before bed

LEARNING YOUR LOVE LANGUAGE

Did you read through the list and immediately know which love language you are? Most of us will be a combo of a few, so it can be hard to identify your primary love language. If you want to learn more and take the test for the 5 Love Languages, then check out Gary Chapman’s book The 5 Love Languages.

SHOP THE 5 LOVE LANGUAGES BOOK

LEARNING YOUR CHILDREN’S LOVE LANGUAGES

When it comes to your children’s love language, it can be a little more difficult to gauge. That’s why he also wrote The 5 Love Language of Children and The 5 Love Languages of Teenagers.

Since most little kids love hugs (physical touch), you’ll also want to know what their other love languages are. And while most kids would say their love language is getting a new toy (receiving gifts), these quizzes will give you a little better insight on how to understand and connect with your children on a deeper level.

SHOP THE SERIES

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With this purpose in mind, I’ve created a great resource for married couples, old and new! There’s always room to grow and learn about each other, so the first section of this printable workbook is on the 5 Love Languages Types! order yours here: